I failed to read the fine very small print on the MLB's website when I paid for a month of their MLB.tv service, so imagine my disappointment and frustration when I went to open the live video stream for today's opening game only to be told all televised home games in your market are blacked out. Yes, I can still watch it on television, but that doesn't fucking help when I'm stuck here at work.
Goddamn it, now I have to listen to all the silly, non sequitur bullshit that comes out of Mike Shannon's addled mind. TWO BITS!
-K.
Monday, March 31, 2008
I Should Not Be Paying to Support Your Numbskullery
What I (Dis)Liked Last Week
So having purchased Prey via Steam for the ridiculous price of $4.95 (Seriously, the Live Arcade port of Asteroids isn't even that cheap) I didn't get around to playing it until Sunday night. I'd say it's worth the money, it's got some neat out-of-body puzzle mechanics and there are lots of funky parts where it messes around with gravity, even though I still have a headache from it. Though you'll more than likely finish it off in one or two sittings, I beat the game coming in just a little under the five hour mark, and the sad thing is I was really ready to get to the end about an hour before that. I know there's only so much you can do with a game entirely set on a giant alien spacecraft, and it certainly was a refreshing change from all the military-themed shooters as of late, they also try their hardest to vary it up, but you start to get tired of looking down metal corridors after a while. There are some nice touches of interactivity in the environment, because who can't resist turning all the faucets on an off and flushing toilets in a game, and the radio broadcasts you stumble upon featuring a fake call in show hosted by Art Bell (of Coast to Coast AM fame) add a nice touch of polish. Overall I'd recommend the game and suggest you at least give the demo a shot.
So, having been eagerly awaiting opening day for the Cardinals regular season (Which is today, I'm sure anyone still in metro area is painfully aware), I stopped by Blockbuster on my way home Friday and picked up MLB2k8 for the 360. I can't believe I'm saying something like this, but it's unfortunate that EA no longer makes baseball games, and that the only other next-gen baseball game is exclusive to Sony systems, because if you want a baseball game on the 360 this is the only game in town and it's not getting it done. It has the same problems since the series debuted on the system two years ago; Bad framerate, sluggish controls, repetitive commentary. They've done nothing to address these issues, instead opting just to throw a fresh coat of paint on the game and put a new number on the box. It's nice that this time around they've got all the minor league teams in the game and I like the new pitching mechanics where you make gestures with the right analog stick for different pitches, but that's about all I can say that's positive. It uses the same commentator voiceover lines from the last two games, which I'm sick of hearing because they were in the last two games. I've lost count on how many times I've struck out on pitches that were clearly balls (With the game showing you an instant replay, almost like it's trying to point out how much it sucks in case you missed it). The Inside Edge reports, which you spend team funds to purchase that show you things like, in the case of a pitcher, where they're most likely to throw the next pitch, are almost never right. Also this may be nitpicky, but one of the biggest stories to come out of the game late last season was the remarkable comeback of Rick Ankiel, everyone was talking about him, and they can't even find a fucking picture of him to put in the game? Instead as you scroll through the Cardinals lineup you'll see headshots of Pujols and Molina and Wainwright and then you'll hit Ankiel and be greeted with this robotic looking picture of his in-game character model. I'm done with this series, which is unfortunate, because I don't think it's going to change. So long as they're the only baseball option for 360 owners, they can get away with it, and I'm not prepared to lay down $600 for a PS3 just to play MLB 08: The Show.
I played through Rainbow Six: Vegas again, this time on PC, not much to say about it. As a game in the Rainbow Six series, it's big step up from Lockdown, but overall a far cry from its former greatness. Though taken as just another action game, divorcing the franchise's history from my memory, it's a pretty good shooter.
I watched the Star Wars Holiday Special, which was made just bearable thanks to the provided Rifftrax commentary. If you're unfamiliar with the premise, it aired around Christmas time in 1978, and it mostly follows Chewbacca's family (His wife, son and father, named Mala, Lumpy and Itchy, respectively) as they await his arrival to celebrate the wookie holiday "Life Day." This, naturally, means being treated to poorly animated cartoons featuring Boba Fett and musical numbers by Jefferson Starship and Bea Arthur. I couldn't imagine watching this without having the MST3K crew around to make fun of it, considering the first ten minutes or so is literally nothing but Chewie's family screaming at each other.
Planet Earth on HD-DVD continues to be spectacular, but I have to stop watching it while I'm eating because there's a good chance that at least once or twice in every episode you will witness one creature kill and devour another creature in crisp, clear high definition.
-K.
Friday, March 28, 2008
Prey is $4.95 on Steam Right Now
That headline pretty much says it all. Prey, the originally 3D Realms-created FPS developed by Human Head, is on sale on Steam this weekend for $4.95. It's not incredible or very long, but a good shooter nonetheless and you can't beat that price.
-K.
Play This Now: Rom Check Fail
This is something else I'll try to do every so often, highlight a small, indie game that deserves attention.
Kicking it off will be a simple but unique game called ROM CHECK FAIL, which plays like WarioWare smashed together with your favorite arcade classics. It starts up like a normal game you boot up in MAME, but during the "rom checks" there's a failure, hence the title, which causes the game to mix and match characters, art and sound from different games together in rapid succession. Sometimes you'll start as the ship from Defender shooting Gauntlet ghosts in a Super Mario Bros. level with Bubble Bobble music playing and and five seconds later the screen will scramble and all of a sudden you're the car from Spy Hunter shooting at ships from Space Invaders in a Moon Patrol background to the Double Dragon soundtrack. The levels don't change in design and you'll get the changing mechanics down fairly quickly, so it's not terribly deep or complex, but a fun little nostalgic time-waster.
Download, ROM CHECK FAIL Setup.exe (2MB)
-K.
Monday, March 24, 2008
That Bald, Verbose Bastard
As I waste my time here at work today, consciously not working on the Condemned 2 review I've been wanting to finish, I read through Tycho's post today only to find that he, almost eerily, has the exact same sentiments regarding the game that I do only communicated much more eloquently. Now I don't even feel like finishing it. The bald, verbose bastard.
-K.
What I (Dis)Liked Last Week
The desire to establish regular content is powerful, because without some sliver of a schedule to adhere to the possibility of stagnation becomes more likely. So I think I'll try to put up one of these every Monday, a sort of general impressions section of the media I have consumed over the past week. I didn't see any movies, watch any TV shows, listen to any new music or read any books, so this will pretty much just be more video games.
I'll go ahead and kick it off with what I didn't like: Super Smash Bros. Brawl. I haven't really been much of a fan of the series, I want to be, but it has some problems, and with this newest installment I confirmed they have not addressed them at all. There's a fun game in there, and I guess I can see the appeal, but it's just too random and confusing. I've got nothing against throwing all these radically different characters together (Except Mr. Game-and-Watch, that's just stupid) and watching them beat the snot out of each other, but it has the same problems several other Nintendo multiplayer games have. I know it's nice to have an element of chance and luck, to have a game where anyone can, and will, win, but that usually just cheapens the experience. This happens in Mario Kart and Mario Party, where when it comes to the end someone can get a blue shell and win from last place or, in the case of Mario Party, the person in last should just win anyway. I'm told this style of four-player fighting is popular over in the land of Pocky and Pokemon, and I remember really enjoying it in Power Stone for the Dreamcast, but it just doesn't quite work for me in this case. What I'm trying to say is that if you enjoy Super Smash Bros. you are a bad person.
A few years after its release I finally got a chance to try Pikmin 2 multiplayer, which I was always told was a very fun experience, and I did enjoy it when I wasn't playing against a certain member of a certain person's family. It inspired to load up the original game and start playing through it again, since I never did finish it. For being a sort of hybrid of action/platformer/puzzle/RTS game, it is simple to pick up and understand, and has that addicting quality that will make you ignore eating or going to the bathroom until absolutely necessary. Which is why I ended up playing it almost from beginning to end in one sitting, until I reached the final boss; a creature forged with flesh of demons and the bones of monsters, created in the deepest, darkest depths of the infernal regions, born to be the sole heir of Lucifer's throne. Needless to say, he can fuck right off. Pikmin has a general difficulty ramp that starts at a fairly casual level and then scales slowly upwards to only slightly challenging, but at the end of the game they pressed the "we hate gamers" button and cranked the difficulty up to Murderous. After an hour of attempting to slay this creature I gave up, quietly retiring to my bed, visions of this shelled beast cackling and mocking me as I slumbered.
That said, the Pikmin series is a great one and if Nintendo were announce a third title in the series for the Wii I would purchase one immediately.
I've been playing through Condemned 2 a second time in the unlocked "FPS Mode," which is the same game but you are handed firearms with unlimited ammunition. It's a strange thing to include, because melee combat is sort of what the game is about and what sets it apart. I guess they just wanted to add some contrast to show people what it would've been like if it was just another generic FPS. I'll get a review done sooner or later and fully voice my grievances with the title.
I don't know if it's the lack of "real" blockbuster titles for the PC and consoles, a failing on my part or the system really is that good, but the majority of my gaming for a while now has been done on the DS.
I've been playing a lot of Mystery Dungeon: Shiren the Wanderer, which is a port of a Genesis game that never made it over here. After doing some research, apparently it is a series that has appeared on several systems over the years, it has not been until now we have been deemed worthy of receiving it. It is Rogue (or Nethack, if you prefer), not "like Rogue," it is the same game, except with a feudal Japan theme. This means that it is brutally difficult, you will die a lot, and plenty of it comes down to luck, though your constant retreads of previous areas is eased by side quests and sections that will not open or change until you've played through several times. There is also an online element that I think is quite clever, where if you fall in battle instead of restarting you can send a call for help in a "rescue request" you send over the Nintendo Wi-Fi network which other adventurers can accept and revive you so you start where you left off. For the rescuer, it adds replayability and a way to start gathering loot and powering up your weapons and armor for tackling the main adventure.
I've also been splitting time between Power Pro Baseball 10 and Space Invaders Extreme, both imports, and fairly simple games. Power Pro Baseball is a series of arcade-y baseball games that are easy to pick up and play, and the only major challenge I've had from it is trying to navigate the menus filled with that moon language they speak over there. Space Invaders Extreme, as you would expect, is Space Invaders, except it boasts improved visuals, new weapons, new enemy types, boss battles and waves that come in rapid succession. It's Space Invaders, it's fun.
Video games!
-K.
Friday, March 21, 2008
I Demand Amusing Evidence of Destruction for My Unforgivable Delays
Parts of 44 are flooding, apparently, and as the volume of traffic grows while the road narrows so does the gridlock. I was advised to avoid that path as I made my way to work today, instead opting for 141 down to Gravois only to find it, too, had been stricken with a contiguous mass of steel and fiberglass that seemed to stretch on for eternity. As the mass slowly went about its march of futility I was troubled about what may be laying in wait for me at the end. To my surprise, and disappointment as well, it was nothing. Sections to the sides had been flooded, so the dangers were serious indeed, but there was nothing to suggest a blocking of traffic flow on what I was currently traveling. After reaching a certain point the congestion loosened and things resumed at normal speed.
I don't know if this desire is commonly held or just another indicator that my mind is in some way broken, but after temporarily being held prisoner by our lines of transportation I have a great desire to see some sort of grim display before me which will explain the situation endured. I am not asking for body parts, wrenched from their owners, laying in the streets, but just some shred that some mishap had taken place. It could even be comical, like a trailer full of live chickens busting open and now the regular commute is held in wait by birds, indeed, attempting to cross the road.
When there is nothing to be found at the end of such an inconvenience it is frustrating to me. It is not unlike entering a slow-moving line at an amusement park, as large chunks of your life are spend idly, anticipating what wonders you will find, only to find once you reach the end you have passed through the exit.
In short, traffic is stupid, good night.
-K.
Wednesday, March 12, 2008
Hobo Meets Pipe, Act II
It's a couple minutes after 3PM and I have only done about twenty minutes of actual work today, so it's been slow. I used this time to go out to Best Buy and pick up Condemned 2: Bloodshot, which was released today, and while I'm waiting for the clock to roll over to quittin' time I've been looking through the manual. I love the original game, I think it's one of the most unique and enjoyable first-person games released in recent memory, but I never bothered to look through the manual. I have some problems with this one.
The very first line in the introduction, which comes immediately after the table of contents, is "The life of a street drunk is hell." I imagine there are some problems with that, sure, but hell? I don't think I'd go that far unless the streets you're stumbling around on happen to be in Baghdad.
"Fortunately, many enemies you'll encounter are simple street thugs without a lot of talent." Talent is an odd choice of a word, when I think of a street thug without talent I think more along the lines of 50 Cent, not someone that's bad at throwing bricks.
"Dispatching these miscreants isn't too tough..." Again, with the wording, it almost sounds like we've shifted into a Dickens story. These ruffians will soon know the harsh impact of a metal fixture upon their skulls!
Under the Firearms section, "Note that Ethan has the D.T. shakes, and may need a little pick-me-up to steel his aim." What. Are you serious? That's a hell of a gameplay mechanic, I thought it was supposed to work the other way around. I'll have to remember to bring a six pack when we hit the range, it's like a power-up.
"Zap friend or foe and watch him vibrate--then take his weapon and beat him silly with it." In a game where people are being murdered left and right, bludgeoned to death with baseball bats and sledgehammers, "beat him silly" just doesn't seem to fit. It makes it sound like you'll follow it up with a cream pie and a bottle of seltzer.
"You will only find these one- and two-handed specialty weapons in certain missions, but they are absolutely devastating when used properly. Examples include a prosthetic arm, deer antler and gumball machine."
Okay, that last one actually sounds kind of awesome.
-K.
Kyle enters the internet website blogosphere 2.0
I've been at my new job for about two months now and so far it leaves me with a lot of free time. It's not too different from the free time I already have at home, except while I'm here I can't waste it playing Team Fortress 2. Or even Freecell. I feel like I should be trying to do something more productive than just sitting at my desk, occasionally glancing at Outlook, and playing Space Invaders Extreme on my DS.
So here it is, I'm starting a new site from scratch, this will become the new home of me talking about video games way too much, general commentary and my painfully weak attempts at being funny. I've already got some ideas for possible weekly articles, but writing on a schedule isn't something I've been known for. There are a bunch of games I'm planning to review and people to make fun of, it's going to be a totally new and fresh experience. Video games! People! Stuff!
So hang on to your butts! This is a Kyle for the new millennium!
Also this new millennium begins in 2008.
I'm not good with dates.
Now you'll have to excuse me, it's lunch time and they've got ribeye steak sandwiches in the cafeteria today. That's something I like.
-K.
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