What is Game? - Grand Theft Auto IV

Been bit by the Grand Theft Auto IV bug again. Rockstar really did create a world that is just fun to run around in and explore, with the option to cause some mayhem if you're feeling bored. Here's some gameplay footage of one of the missions and some more stupid videos after the jump.







-K.

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Carefully Orchestrated Chaos

So I picked up the PC version of Grand Theft Auto IV on Steam over the weekend, and I've probably spent more time fooling with the replay editor than I have the game itself. I know this'll screw up the format but it'll get pushed down soon enough. I present a progression of knowledge in the form of violent acts:











-K.

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Hyperbole Bowl '08

In the beginning, long ago, over a hundred years ago, man discovered fire. Not long after someone smoothed the edges on some rock and created the wheel, and that inevitably led to the automobile, telephone and garbage disposal. There were giant cities and English was the first language created. These were all lost for centuries only to be reinvented much later. I am using The Flintstones and 10,000 B.C. for my basis of ancient history so bear with me. There were great big wars and tiny little dictators, explorers and artists, scientists and philosophers, inventors and visionaries. In the last century alone the world united to fight a great evil and The Pissing Match to End All Pissing Matches between Russia and the US actually produced some great strides in space travel and exploration. But we still haven't had a man or Mars or constructed a moon base. And no flying cars. Sigh. At any rate, all of this has only been build-up to April 2008, when Rockstar released Grand Theft Auto IV for the XBox 360 and PlayStation 3.

The midnight sale at Best Buy was not as horrible as I was anticipating, but only natural that it took place with near freezing temperatures. I left roughly an hour early for the Best Buy down the street and when I showed up I was about the 15th or 16th person in line, nicely wedged between a mute and a group of high school seniors that called each other faggots a little too much, but both parties left me alone, so that worked for me. The group to my right kept going on about how much Best Buy sucks and that they're the greediest and most evil company ever but I guess that didn't stop them from making their purchase there. Thankfully the store split those with pre-orders into a different line and we were allowed in first, I jumped to being the eighth person in line, so I'm glad I pre-ordered. I was able to get through and get my copy fairly quickly, and when I left the line extended down the side of the building and around the corner.

I was surprised overhearing quite a few people saying they were getting the PS3 version, also disturbed at overhearing those same people call themselves "Sony loyalists." I also heard someone talking about how the multiplayer in San Andreas was stupid, really stupid, just plain stupid and not good and stupid. He was referring to the user-made Mutli-Theft Auto multiplayer mod, which this fellow believed to be something Rockstar produced themselves, but I know that as a stranger, a role I prefer in these situations, attempting to correct such misinformation would probably result in heckling or beatings. These kinds of events are also eye-opening, in a way, because it gives another harsh reminder that I am unlike most of my other gaming peers. I was hyped for the game, like everyone else, but what I was looking forward to were the new mechanics at work; the cover system that makes firefights more tactical and intense, the Euphoria physics and animation engine that is really impressive, the turn to creating a darker, serious storyline with deeper, complex characters. I already know that by not being someone that calls everyone he plays against online niggers or faggots it puts me in a minority group, but further still when, after a cop car rolled by, checking out the line, someone near me remarked "I can't wait to blow up your car in the game," I am in an even smaller demographic. Which is why I have to applaud Rockstar for creating this extremely polished and refined game that may well go unappreciated by a large number of the game's players, because they probably could just create the city, puts some guns in it and not bother with anything else and I'm sure it would still sell really well.

I'm a few hours into the main story, balancing that between checking out the city and doing random stuff (I've spent an obscene amount of time at one of the game's bowling alleys), as well as giving the game's various online modes a try, which all have been a blast. I'm sure I'll be going into greater detail later on, but my early impressions so far is that it's really awesome.

-K.

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What I (Dis)Liked Last Week

I know I've been getting a little lazy with the updates, as I generally do, but on Friday I had an awful cluster headache or migraine or whatever it was that caused enough pain to also inflict strong nausea. I dragged myself into work anyway, stopping occasionally to try to focus my energy on not being in pain. I did some research on WebMD, which is never a good idea, and made a shaky determination that it may, in fact, have been a cluster headache based on the symptoms described. It also went on to say that processed meats, bread and caffeine have chemicals that can act as triggers for cluster headaches, a disconcerting thing to read as I hate an Arby's sandwich and drank my Water Joe (caffeinated water). The weekend wasn't much better with a sort of dull buzzing in my head, but I'm feeling better now, my brain lives on to explode another day.

Finished off Mass Effect over the weekend and despite some annoying inventory management issues it was still one of the most compelling games I've ever played, a fully realized and beautifully executed space opera. Since I got it cheap off of the Expert Zone I didn't feel the need to dive right into it, not with the PC version still just around the corner, coming out next month. I was bored one day and decided to fire it up for a minute, see what it was like and then go back to waiting for the (allegedly) much improved PC version. So by the end of the game, doing all the side quests I found (Which I assume was the majority, if not all), it clocked in at a healthy 35 hours, and I even fired it up for a second playthrough which lets you continue using your same character. I guess what I'm saying is that when it finally pops up on PC it'll be more than worthy of your attention.

I also picked up Doom on Live Arcade when it went half price a few weeks ago, and played through that again as well. Something struck me as odd the entire time I was playing it, which I couldn't quite put a finger on, why is Doom still fun? I've pretty much played it on every system I've ever owned, homebrew or otherwise. That includes the GBA and DS. I don't think it's just nostalgia at work, there are other classic games I loved that I just can't get into anymore. I tried giving the original Grand Theft Auto another crack, and just couldn't manage it. When it came out for PC, one of the first games that took advantage of 3DFX cards which were also just coming out, I played it for hours on end. But the awful on foot combat controls, the top-down camera that does extend quite far back enough so when you're trying to move fast you'll often smash into cars you don't see until it's too late, lack of a save feature other than completing all the missions in a city, I couldn't stomach it for more than fifteen minutes. But Doom, with its shoddy texture work, levels that don't represent at all what they're supposed to be (You're telling me the whole first episode is supposed to be a moon base with laboratories?), a story that's barely there, and dated key-hunting gameplay, still ropes me in. Sure, it still has the best shotgun in a game ever, and the best power-up (Berserk! Because anyone who doesn't think being able to pummel a demon from hell to death with your bare hands isn't cool isn't worth listening to.), there's really no reason that I should still enjoy this. Can someone help me out on this?

Speaking of Grand Theft Auto, I'll be attending my first midnight release for anything tonight at the Best Buy in South County, waiting for GTA4 with other sweaty nerds and other unlikable archetypes of our generation. I dread that I'll be stuck in line with someone who really loves Halo 3 and wants to trade Gamertags, or be witness to a 360 vs. PS3 fanboy debate. They're promising giveaways and fun times. I don't want giveaways and fun times. I just want to buy it and go home. I really hope the local news doesn't show up to get some footage like they did with the PS3 and Wii releases. I'm sure I'll have more to report about this later.

-K.

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What I (Dis)Liked This Week

Another week begins and here I am at work on no sleep, after tossing and turning for six hours. That also happened last Wednesday and I called in sick, I don't think they'd much like it if I did it again in such close proximity. Anyway, let's talk video games and stuff.

So getting tired of waiting for the release of the PC version next month, I finally popped in the copy of Mass Effect I got for the 360 a while back (Off the Expert Zone, I didn't pay $60 and just let it sit there). That was Friday night, and by the time I went to bed just before the sun began to rise on Sunday I had put 15 of your earth hours into it. What we've basically got here is a prettied-up Knights of the Old Republic that's more action-oriented and not set in the Star Wars universe, and that's fine by me. The enemy AI is a little clunky in that most creatures, humanoid, machine or otherwise, will most likely just run right at you and the game really likes to fuck you over in some of the indoor sections of side-quests where you'll enter a room and suddenly be gang-raped by twenty rocket-packing security droids. It's very clear that it was a carefully created game, crafted by teams of writers, artists and programmers that all brought a vibrant and complex universe, full of strange planets and races and history, to realization, but apparently there was only one guy in charge of the inventory interface and he was doing his best to get fired. When bartering there's no way to separate items by category, they're all just lumped in together, and when there's a billion types of everything (There are three different armor classifications per species alone) it gets a little frustrating, especially when scrolling moves so slowly. When you reach your maximum inventory limit the game tries to warn you when you're reaching it and when you find new stuff and want to take it but don't have room to you're not allowed. You can't even put it back down or swap out some older equipment for it, you're forced to discard it forever. Other than interface problems the game is engrossing and gorgeous and filled with character, the new conversation system isn't revolutionary but enjoyable and effective, and all the voice actors involved do a great job, save for Seth Green who plays the character of Seth Green as a spaceship pilot.

Since Grand Theft Auto IV is coming out in roughly two weeks I've decided to jump back into GTA: San Andreas, picking up the GTA collection for $30 on Steam. If you haven't played it yet then by all means you really need to because it's one of the best action games ever created and probably why I'm excited for GTA IV's release since I can only expect them to take the same improving formula and make it even better. Typically I'm very critical and dismissive of a game that takes more than an hour to "get into it" but that's the case with this, for me, at least. It isn't the fault of the gameplay, that's perfectly fine, it's just that in the beginning of the game you're introduced to a cadre of some of the most annoying characters ever produced in any piece of fiction. If there was a drinking game based on how many times someone says "gangsta," "busta," or "nigga" you'd be dead within the first two minutes. Though once you get out of the first city and out into the countryside, eventually meeting up with James Woods' CIA spook character, everything gets much better. James Woods makes everything better.

Been watching Nick Frost's (Shaun of the Dead, Hot Fuzz) Danger! 50,000 Volts and it's a very entertaining show. Basically it's Nick tackling different survival scenarios that range from avoiding kimono dragon attacks to how to seal up a sinking naval vessel, with Nick interviewing related experts and taking part in hands-on demonstrations. There's an extra on the Shaun of the Dead DVD featuring an extra segment not in the series titled "Danger! 50,000 Zombies," with Simon Pegg as an Australian zombie expert, that's done in the exact same format of the show. I'm told you can find that particular "episode" on the internets, specifically YouTube. You should watch it because I said so.

That's pretty much it, I'm going to concentrate on not passing out at my desk now.

-K.

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